Baby vs. Food

Something even more rare than a bigfoot or UFO sighting: Marilee without some sort of nipple in her mouth.

Marie and I love watching the Travel Channel. One of their weekly features is a show called "Man vs. Food." The premise is as follows: the host travels the country visiting several restaurants, taking on food eating challenges. One episode had him taking on an 7 egg breakfast burrito (he lost).

I bring this up because we've already discovered that Marilee seems well suited for a future career in the field of competitive eating.

Takeru Kobayashi, 7 time winner of the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship. Enjoy your reign while you can Takeru, you've got an up-and-comer named Marilee hot on your heels.

Her transition from 4 ounce bottle to 8 ounce has been quick and seamless. A couple nights ago, at 3:30 am, she knocked back a 8 ouncer in record time. This was followed by a late morning feast of ANOTHER entire 8 ounce bottle a few hours later at 10 a.m.

I hear you saying, "Who gives a rat's ass?" But I want to put this in perspective: Within a period of 6 1/2 hours, Marilee consumed 1/14th of her body weight. In other words, it would equal me eating 7 pounds of food for lunch, then another 7 pounds at dinner, a feat which is obviously unrealistic. (Unless I happen to be on a cruise.)

Marilee could eat this whole thing in about 10 minutes. (I'm talking about the bottle. The baby would take a few minutes longer.)

On the bright side, baby sure is smiling a lot more. Especially when Mamma gets all up in her grill with a big grin. She also smiles when Daddy sings to her. (The only human being to ever do so.) So far, her favorite songs seem to be the ABC song, "Back in Baby's Arms," and Bob Marley's "One Love." Granted, these are the only three songs I sing to her, but still.

She's also developed a favorite new toy: the TV remote control. I put it in front of her face and use a high-pitched voice to act like the remote is actually talking to her. Not sure if this is going to cause her future psychological damage. What I DO know is that in the eyes of a 2 month old, I have mad ventriloquism skills.

A couple of parting shots from today:

"Somebody help me. I'm being held hostage in a shoe store in Grand Junction by two complete psychos. Call for help. Call for help now!"

"Stupid parents. What kind of shoe store owner doesn't carry size 1/2? Geessh."