5 Years

Baby Marilee's parents celebrated five full years of misery marital bliss on May 15th. So to mark the big day, I surprised Marie and baby with a trip to that hotbed of excitement and romance: Salt Lake City.

So although it's not nearly as fun as cleaning the bathtub, here are some photos of our trip:

At the Utah Welcome Center near Green River, where Baby and Daddy plan the route. The route Daddy points to would lead us through Price then onto Interstate 80 North to Salt Lake. The route Marilee points to would have led us to a jungle in Guatemala.

The Gateway Center, a charming outdoor shopping district in downtown Salt Lake. Looking back on it, and considering that we were only steps away from the Church of the Latter Day Saint's most holy shrine, pretending to serve a margarita to a 4 month-old child may not have been the most appropriate gesture.

Like I said, we were at an outdoor mall. And sometimes it's nice to escape the the same old routine and experience something completely brand new. Here's Marie at a women's shoe store.

"Shopping for shoes sure beats staying home and cleaning the toilet." (A belief shared by exactly 50% of the adults in our house.)







Since we've had some scheduling problems arranging Marilee's baptism at Immaculate Heart of Mary in Grand Junction, we decided, "What the heck," and killed two birds with one stone. You can now call her: "Sister Marilee."



After the photo was taken, we ate lunch at a cafeteria in Brigham Young's actual, original home. Marie had catfish. Not sure why that is noteworthy, but I remembered it for some reason.








Where the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performs. We could make some lame joke about a "large organ" but we're not going to. We will say that we were privileged to witness an awesome performance/practice and that despite our worries, Marilee did NOT test out the building's acoustics, other than a minor burp afterwards.









Running low on funds during the trip, Steve and Marilee resort to taking part-time jobs as meteorologists at KSL Channel 2. Here the station's new "Dynamic Weekend Weather Duo" let all the viewers alongside the Wasatch range know that a high pressure system is coming in from the Northwest, bringing with it a 60% chance of precipitation by late Sunday.




Baby is shown here at the screening for "Under the Sea," a 3-D Imax film composed entirely of underwater footage. I'm not totally sure, but I think that placing a 4 month old baby in front a giant screen where great white sharks realistically appear to snap inches away from your face makes us the worst parents ever.




Quiz time. This is:






A) The world's largest elevator.


or


B) What happens when an evil witch makes good on her promise to put a spell on Marie and shrink her down to a height of 18 inches.



Another photo from the Clark Planetarium....

...where Marie leaves the bathroom. (Warning to budding photographers: you may think it's hilarious to catch your wife leaving the restroom, but trust me when I say that pointing the camera at the Ladies room gets you many, many dirty looks from passing females.)

After Salt Lake, we headed East towards home.



This is at the Olympic museum at nearby Park City, Utah. Here Daddy takes part in the traditional, "Molesting of the buffalo."

Still at Park City. During the 2002 Winter Olympics, 40% of the events where held here. In this photo, Marie touches what officials say is the last remaining clump of original snow from the February 2002 Olympic games. (Okay, not really, but YOU try coming up with a caption for this picture.)

To make sure visitors to the Olympic museum are able to experience a true, authentic skiing experience, staff members crank the air conditioner down to -14 degrees and charge visitors $18 for a hamburger.




The official 2002 Olympic bobsled run. The gold medal time was 2 minutes, 14.3 seconds. My money said that Marilee - riding in her stroller - could destroy that record, but apparently some wimp in our party thought it would be "way too dangerous."






At the Red Banjo Pizza in Park City. Baby is excited because the vacation is over we're on our way to Vernal!

Growing Baby

Yes, it's been awhile, but things have been busy here at the Beaurgard home, where we're constantly being consumed with the trivialities of day-t0-day life. Things such as washing dishes, cooking of dinner, spreading the cremated ashes of a beloved family pet across the front yard, etc.

The Ghost of Elvis haunts the living room late at night, where, if you listen closely, you can hear the very eerie sounds of a paws being licked.

Marilee continues to grow healthy and happy (as far as we know.) Last Monday she slept from 9 pm to 6 pm straight, but alas, it was only an anomaly, and she's returned to tormenting gently waking daddy up to ask for 2 AM feedings.



But at least there is decent TV on at 2 AM. There are two different poker shows to watch, both of which beat the uber-annoying Baby Genius shows she watches a few laters later in the morning when we plop her down in front of the TV to catch our breath.



The Baby Genius videos play these chirpy kid's songs that penetrate your mind and refuse to let go to the point where you're cluelessly standing in isle number 12 at City Market. failing in your efforts to remember what you were supposed to get because all you can hear in the brain is this musical gem, sung by Frankie, the singing pink elephant:

"One, two, I love you.

Three, four, let's count some more.

Five, six, get your kicks.

Seven, Eight, counting is great!

Nine, ten, numbers are our friends.

Let's Count them all again."

And trust me: after listening to this song several times every single morning for 104 days straight, you will NOT think of numbers as "our friends." You will hate numbers and hope they all die a painful, violent death.

Baby Genius Episode #347, the one where Frankie goes over to introduce herself to her new neighbor, Jason...

Speaking of serial killers, Grandma and Grandpa Beauregard have settled into a weekly routine of babysitting Marilee every Wednesday, so that daddy has some uninterrupted time during the day to watch soap operas work.

Nothing else too exciting to report, so I'll log off now and promise to provide updates on a more regular basis.

What happens when we run out of formula AND beer.