Good Eats

So the little tax deduction is still eating non-stop, like she's Grandpa Beauregard on a cruise or something.

I've done a rough estimation, and I believe she is consuming over 16 ounces of combination breastmilk and formula everyday, which means that she is eating around 10% of her body weight per day. And if my figures are correct, I estimate that - if she keeps up this pace - she will weigh approximately 316 pounds by around June 9th.

(A computer composite estimating what Marilee will look like by summer.)

On the sleep front: no worries. I'm getting a good 50 to 55 minutes a sleep per night. In other words, twice as much as usual. The problem is, is that the Baby Production Unit and I both freak out at even the slightest sound. Last night, Marie was awoken at about 3 a.m. when she heard a lot of whining and crying. And that was just me.

So basically last night, we had the following: baby crying, dog licking himself, muffler-less motorcycle driving by our house, dad crying, baby wanting food, dog wanting water, dad wanting narcotics, baby needing changing, dog needing to pee. And that was all before 2 a.m. The only thing missing was the USC marching band storming through our house, but I've spoken with the band director, and he's assured me they'll be stopping by tonight.

("Hey everyone, let's go to the Beauregard home!")

And now, a feature we like to call:

SLEEP DEPRIVED PARENTAL QUOTE OF THE DAY:

The Scene: Baby is screaming in the other room with Marie.

ME: "Do you need any help?"

MARIE: "No, I’m going to eat her."

I think she meant, "I’m going to FEED her." But I kept a close eye on Marie, just in case.

More post-delivery photos with snarky comments:

Grandma Beauregard seeing her granddaughter for the very first time. The look on her face says it all: "Gosh Marie, that pant color went out of style 2 years ago."

Aunt Kathy holds her niece while cousin Livia tells Uncle Steve: "When you take the picture, you'll want to make sure the F-speed is higher so as to account for the diminished lighting output typical of the florescent bulbs found in hospital rooms such as this."

Older Brother Elvis: "Baby? Who gives a s%@#*? Give me some food."


Baby's first luxurious spa appointment. This session included all of the usual treatments one would expect to be performed at a high end spa - such as a pedicure, manicure, facial, and the removal of amniotic fluid out of the hair.